5 Practical Tips to Be The Best Assistant Coach

  1. Information- Convey knowledge, not just problems to your head coach; or bring solutions to the problems. Being the best assistant means to support the head coach in all decisions and personnel. The best job that you have is the one that you’re in.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness 

The worst why to build mental toughness


 Avoid This “Why” to Build Mental Toughness

I was a good athlete when I was young.

But I changed.

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, maybe I lost a race, had an error in the field, or struck out. But, I started to think way too much, and I would get in my own way.

No-one could really ever help me either, which is one reason why I became a Sport Psychology coach.  I was stuck, frustrated, didn’t know how to work hard, and had off the field issues that caused emotional pain. 

I slacked, and people got better than me.

I drank, and people got better than me.

I partied, and people got better than me.

Then, it was all over.

Falling off a cliff will do that. 


I was never in touch with my passion until after my playing days were over. After college, my reasons became to prove something to myself.  It was to prove to myself that although I squandered younger years, I wasn’t going to quit. If you ever get a second chance at life, you’ve got to go all the way. 

So, I ran marathons, Completed Ironman, broke a 20-minute 5k, benched pressed 300 lbs, made a hole-in-one, completed a toughmudder, swam under 1:00 in the 100 freestyle, and finished a 1/2 Ironman.

I’ve heard most elite performers “why’s.” 

Prove people wrong, Because I love it, Be a role model, it’s fun, Be outside, Escape from life, Be fit, Being in the moment, The feeling of the actual movement, Competitiveness, To beat others, Make my parents proud, Winning.” 

I think some are stronger than others and I am not sure which WHY is the BEST.

I do believe however that we need to avoid this “why” to build Mental Toughness. This “why” is toxic, malicious, and contagious. If we don’t recognize and treat it, it becomes necrotic to our entire self.

Avoid this “why” to increase mental toughness which is: I’m GOOD at it.


The path toward greatness at any level is difficult. But, our best changes as we get better and tenacity becomes more important than talent. Those with a why of I’m good at it, simply can’t achieve their full potential. 

Burnout in any performance field has a why to build mental toughness of I’m GOOD at it. If they’re GOOD at something, but do not have a deeper passion, then at some point, they become trapped.

Most people that are GOOD,  have their identity, future, and sometimes career so wrapped up in their performance, that they can’t quit. Quitting would bring severe consequences. So, they stay in performance mode without a “why” and the disease takes hold. It’s better to have these mental toughness skills instead! 

When trapped, they resent their sport or job, can’t work hard, frustrate their peers and coaches, and since they can’t quit, they find other ways to cope that make them feel better. The better performer that they are, the more trapped and frustrated they feel.

If you’re going to be GOOD at something, but not love it, be good at math or science, not performance.


3 Tips for Your “Why”

  1. Develop your why as your talent develops, before it’s too late. 

  2. Re-adjust and re-focus your why as you progress in life. 

    Our “why” changes over time.  I knew athletes who were so driven to prove people wrong, (which is a powerful motivator) but after they had success, it became an “okay, now what” moment? They had to re-discover their own why.

    Your own “why” a few years ago may not be your why today. 

  3. Stay in touch with your why. If you know your why, you can come-up with any “how.”


top mental toughness coach

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness-

become a paid speaker


Here’s How to Become a Paid Speaker


I spoke to head coach Mary Ann Sedor who is the founder of  Intent Multisport. She is an awesome “all-in” person and I interviewed her for my book- NO ONE Gets There ALONE. 

I sent her a video clip about my experience completing a 1/2 Ironman, and she commented how she connected with me as a speaker. 

That’s always nice to hear since I’m an approval junkie sometimes. I mean who doesn’t like to hear that their stuff is awesome? 

I told her my “style” was from my very first time speaking. 


I was in a drunk-driving accident in college. I also fell off an 80-foot cliff. It was not the best freshman year of college. 

My accident occurred on April 20th in the early evening as I was attempting to drive back to college.

I crossed the center line and hit another car head-on.

I never wanted to hurt anyone and it was a horrible mistake. Thank God I was the only person injured in that crash.

Just a few weeks later as I tried to finish the semester, I received a call from someone in charge of Prom Promise at a local high-school. They wanted me to speak about the dangers of drinking and driving.

My jaw was broke, my arm in a sling, and it would be at a rival high-school where I still knew some of the people.

It was humbling, but I could not say “no.”

In front of a thousand high-school students, I told my story. And that’s when and where my speaking career began.

My mess was my message.

I realized that people enjoy hearing about your successes, but they identify with your struggle. 


Here’s how you become a paid speaker.


Be real and be genuine. 

Not for your ego’s sake, but because we connect with the vulnerabilities of suffering.

Develop a 15-minute talk.

Give your talk from a personal example and speak about the one story you probably don’t want to share either.

Give this 15-minute talk away.

Seek out Optimists clubs, Rotary Clubs, and Chamber of Commerce to perfect your talk. In doing so someone in attendance will want to hire you to speak to their own company or team.

Video your talk.

Every year, I give a Tedx type talk, called Sparks. Here’s a compilation of these talks that serve as great marketing.  With video, people can watch you in action and it takes the guesswork if you’re any “good.” It’s a huge marketing piece to becoming a paid speaker. 

Create a one-page speaker sheet.

Invest in an interactive PDF that shows your work, expertise, and topics. 

When you are asked to speak, charge.

If you’re invited to speak, it simply means that you’re ready to become a paid speaker.

If you don’t charge, then you’re not mentally ready to get paid for speaking and more work on your own head trash is needed. It’s better to disappoint someone who wants you to speak, then to be resentful that you keep doing it for free.


top mental toughness coachDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness-