parents make this mistake

parents make this mistake

 Sport Parents Make This Mistake And It’s Dangerous. 


This is not a click-bait title, this post is about stopping this mistake that can literally save your young athlete! But, parents make this mistake all of the time. 

Albert Jennings was one of the top youth golfers in the entire nation before his 15th birthday. He won 90% of the tournaments he entered between ages 10-15 years old. He not only practiced and played golfer every single day and played in a tournament every three days, but he always wore pants when he golfed.  As a kid, he wore pants because was going to be on the PGA Tour.

PGA Tour player and 3x All-American Patrick Rodgers, once asked him “How could [he] get to Albert’s level?” 

So, what happens to the prodigy and wunderkind when they start to struggle? It’s the same thing that happens to all good athletes, it depends on the parents.  

As parents, what is the precedent that we set after unsuccessful outcomes and poor results? 

 A precedent is a rule or principle that serves as a guide for future decisions. I never thought it was applicable outside of the law and especially to sport parents. Oh my, how I was wrong. 

Read 10 Reminders if You’re A Stressed Out Parent of An Athlete


Parents make this mistake of setting a poor precedent after every important game.

  • Do we as parents start drilling them on the way home?
  • Is our role to point out everything they did incorrectly and how they can “get better?”
  • Is comparing them to others a common theme for us? 
  • Is the precedent we set immediately calling their coach?
  • Do we hit up another practice session right away?
  • Do we yell or pile on about how they aren’t “trying?”

On a long enough timeline, when do we as parents start to internally panic after enough mediocre results and feel helpless to just fix it for them? 

How parents behave and communicate after an event is the precedent that is set. Parents make this mistake by setting bad examples. 

When Albert Jennings started to struggle and not meet the super high expectations, the precedent took over, which was “what’s the matter with the swing?” Something is WRONG and we must FIX it! After every single unsuccessful event, it became what’s the matter? 


Listen to my guest episode on Parenting Peak Performers Podcast.


Focusing only on the problem and trying to figure it out for them begins a vicious negative cycle. What happens is that The athlete starts to search instead of practice. Very quickly the bottom can drop out because they get away from sound fundamentals. Their confidence which is already fragile now becomes an issue and once athletes lose confidence, it’s difficult to get it back.  

Athlete’s that had success early, yet later on struggle, face a difficult path. They often start to question their own athletic identity of “I win.” More importance is then placed upon results and outcome to regain their identity of “this is who I am.”! Now, they feel like they are on an island by themselves and if they are unlucky enough to be told “it’s all in your head,” then they are shot into the abyss. 

If we stare at the abyss long enough, the abyss stares back at us! 

When we set a poor precedent as parents, we are inserting ourselves into the mix of how to fix what went wrong and soon, the young athlete looks for you to solve it for them! We do not build capacity that way, all it does is build dependency. We don’t know what we don’t know, but sadly parents make this mistake of setting the wrong precedent and it can be one of the most detrimental actions toward development. 

We all want the best for our own kids, but isn’t it odd that we are the hardest on those who we love the most? We are hardest on them because we also have the highest of expectations for them. 

Parents, we NEED to develop a healthy relationship with winning & losing. Setting the correct precedent means simply operating the same after good and bad outcomes! We need to have a game plan before events and think about balance and perspective and keeping the sport pure. 

I interviewed Albert and gained so much wisdom from him. His insight is incredible and just know that he’ll be an awesome golf coach!


dr rob bell

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & Associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books.   

Please check out the podcast 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment.

shut-off your mind before bedtime


 5 Ways to “Shut-Off” Your Mind Before Bedtime

Multiple techniques have been introduced already for a person to sleep faster. Among these options, shutting off the brain is deemed to be the most effective. Once your mind is relaxed, have a sound evening rest would be a lot easier.

However, here’s the catch: trying to shut-off your mind before bedtime is TOUGH!  Our brain is designed to think and to process ideas. It is entirely reasonable, but during bedtime, it is a harrowing experience. Some thoughts are gnawing and can turn into worries.

Again, it is true that you can’t easily shut off your brain. Despite this, you can still elevate all the essential requirements for your mind and body to get relaxed. 

Here’s are 5 ways to shut-off your mind before bedtime.

Shut Down Your Devices

It is true that you can’t switch-off your mental faculties. However, you can always help your mind and eyes relax by shutting down the gadgets that surround you. The radiation alone that is coming from these things can distract and stress your eyes.

While it is true that people are not prohibited to install entertainment systems on their bedrooms, it is still recommended that you won’t use them during or before your sleeping time. The things that you watch can play into your head, causing your mind to be active when it shouldn’t be.

Take a Warm Bath

There’s nothing wrong if you want to spoil yourself before bedtime. Before you go to sleep, it would be a nice thing if you could take a warm bath or shower. This kind of pleasure can also help in soothing your mind–allowing you to sleep faster.

Raising the temperature of your body will cause your body to feel sedated. It ensures that your entire system is relaxed and your mind, satisfied. Of course, when you have a relaxed mind, sleeping would never be a problem on your part.

You can also include some additives in your bath. Why not include scented herbs and lotions in the equation? They can double the sedating effect that your body can feel.

Get a Nice Bedroom

Honestly, it is pretty difficult to rest on a place where there is a lot of clutter and mess. Before you can find peace, make sure that your environment is conducive enough to support your goal.

Cleaning your bedroom is already a good start. Just clean all the rubbish that you see. Take out any heap of garbage that is sprawling round. Eliminate all items that cause distractions and uneasiness to you.

Of course, you have to fix your bed, too. Find an ergonomic mattress that can make you feel comfortable and relaxed. You also need to get a set of soft pillows to optimize the relaxation that your mind and body can handle.

Try Yoga

Yoga is an activity that elevates your mental control, concentration, and calm. It is not just a routine where you have to twist your body on some weird and extreme angles. In fact, even those who aren’t skinny enough can do the acrobatics in yoga.

Yoga is said to be an exercise that connects the body, mind, and spirit. This is the very reason why the regimen in yoga is not as extensive as those you can see in the gym. Instead, what yoga develops is discipline so that people can learn proper meditation to achieve a relaxed state.

Furthermore, it has been said that yoga also improves the quality of your evening rest. For instance, to stop snoring, some yoga routines should be executed.

Play Relaxing Sounds

Not all noises are distracting. Some of them can cause your mind to feel calm. For sleeping, it is best if you can play natural sounds–such of those that replicate that ocean, wind, or rain. Our brain accepts them as sedatives, so they are really useful for those whose minds are too baffled for sleep.

You can play these noises on a repeated loop until such time you fall asleep. Make it as a low noise or something that would serve as an audio background to your bedroom.

Wrapping it Up

You don’t need to have a “dead mind” so that you can sleep fast and comfortably. Instead, what you need is a brain that is entirely calm and soothed. It is the one that you need so that you can sleep peacefully during the night.

These techniques that have been introduced in this article are among the most efficient methods for relaxing and strengthening your mind. Please try them and see which ones work best for you.


Layla Parker is the founder and chief editor of ASleepyWolf.com. I decided to start taking my blog about sleep seriously to help people find what they need to experience better sleep and maintain their health. 

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/12-ways-to-shut-off-your-brain-before-bedtime/

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/relaxation-exercises-falling-asleep-0

https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-reduce-racing-thoughts-at-night-3015286

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Top Ogo Best Leadership Podcast Episodes

Top Ogo Best Leadership Podcast Episodes


Top 10 David Novak oGoLeadtm Best Leadership Podcast Episodes

As former CEO of Yum Brands, by the time David Novak was 12 years old, he had lived in 32 trailer parks in 23 states.  I was introduced to this podcast by one of my golfers on Tour. I immediately started listening to every single episode. It took me several months, but here are the filet mignon of episodes. David does an excellent job of allowing every guest to share their experience and his demeanor is evident why he was such a significant leader himself. 


  1. CALLAWAY GOLF, SVP MARKETING, HARRY ARNETT | EPISODE #12

I’m a big fan of Harry Arnett having met him at the PGA Show, so I’m biased! Callaway is an excellent brand of innovation and consistency in the role of professional golf. (i.e. Callaway live show). “Innovate or Die” was an incredible lesson learned that Harry discusses in this episode. It was a failure that taught a big lesson. That experience in part allowed his own staff a space to evaluate and judge different ideas.

 

  1. JOHN “SPIDER” MILLER, CAPTAIN, U.S.A. WALKER CUP TEAM | #21

Spider Miller is a golfer who won the US Mid-Am in 1996 & 1998.  Winning was a hinge moment that allowed him to play in The Masters with Arnold Palmer where they developed a deep relationship. From Indiana, the stories about Spider are legendary. He was also the 2x Walker Cup captain and captain of the “winning 2017 Walker Cup team.”  It’s an excellent episode on his business acumen as well!

 

  1. PETE BEVACQUA, CEO, PGA OF AMERICA | OGOLEAD BEST LEADERSHIP PODCAST EPISODES #044

Hmmm, another golf episode, do you see a coincidental theme for the top leadership podcast episodes? I listened to this episode while on the bike trainer for my Ironman. His story about his first days as CEO was quite the experience. He shares how he was able to bring the U.S. Open to Shinnecock Hills Golf Club by making the Shinnecock nation part of that process. It’s an excellent lesson in leadership because there was major strife between the factions.

 

  1. DONNA BARTON BROTHERS: LEADERSHIP, HORSE RACING & THE TRIPLE CROWN | #039

From a family of jockeys, she rode her first race at age 21 to actually eliminate horse racing as a career. Her perspective on winning and success was simple- “Do you want to win races as a jockey? Ride for people who win races.” The story about her broadcast career and especially interviewing Calvin Borel after winning the derby was very moving. Her message is “you have to find your niche’ in life!” She is inspiring!

 

  1. THE HOME DEPOT, CO-FOUNDER, KEN LANGONE | EPISODE #6

Ken Langone has a fantastic story! He is a collection of many people and is NOT a self-made individual. He epitomizes the notion that NO ONE Gets There ALONE.

He is always learning and still working! His leadership style is represented by Home Depot that has 3,000 people working WITH them (not for them) who started pushing carts and now are multi-millionaires. It’s great hearing about how the only mistakes he regrets are the mistakes in judgment.

 

  1. ED STACK, CHAIRMAN & CEO, DICK’S SPORTING GOODS | #038

An excellent story about how he bought out his father from the business at a young age. His quote and theme for life are top-notch- “You can’t B.S. the person in the mirror.” It is interesting that one of the best leadership podcast episodes addresses their Youth Sports Initiative and Sports Matter Foundation. After the parkland High-school shooting, Dick’s also took the courageous lead by announcing that they would stop selling assault firearms and to anyone under 21 years old.   

 

  1. TOM BRADY, NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS QUARTERBACK | PART 1, #047

This is a 2-part series. Tom Brady was a 6th rd, 299th overall pick. He epitomized capturing a Hinge moment! He is one of the best, if not the best quarterbacks in the game and what he has overcome is remarkable! His experience as a leader is undeniable, especially his take on confidence and emotion! “The NFL season is like climbing a mountain, everyone starts the same and the climb is long and arduous, but worth the summit.” 

 

  1. RORY MCILROY: STAYING HUNGRY & INSPIRATIONAL LEADERSHIP | PART 2, #033

It’s tough not to root for Rory after listening to this podcast. He’s won four majors but is driven as ever and he delves into his “why.” He discusses his growth as a player and how his team has developed across the years. He addresses overcoming injuries in his career and speaking his mind and being authentic. Gratitude is a cornerstone as well that he feels is a huge part of life! This is one of the best leadership podcast episodes!

 

  1. SANDLER O’NEILL + PARTNERS, SENIOR MANAGING PRINCIPAL, JIMMY DUNNE | EPISODE #16

Since I’ve worked with the University of Notre Dame Athletics, the impact of Jimmy Dunne is evident with the sports programs. One hinge moment came as he was rejected to every law school he applied. However, a player who he used to caddy for, instead directed him to Wall Street. He cites “playing like your behind” as the key to success. After 9/11, it was a difficult situation, so he took specific financial steps to help the firm establish an esprit de corps. One of my favorite parts of the podcast is when he refers to what he looks for in employees: refined desperation

 

  1.  GARY KELLY, CHAIRMAN AND CEO OF SOUTHWEST AIRLINES | #045

Southwest Airlines had over one hundred and thirty million customer boarding’s last year. Again, I’m biased because I love Southwest airlines. What most impressed me about this interview is that Southwest Airlines has NEVER laid off or furloughed employees or cut pay. Their mission is to treat every customer like guests in their own home!


dr rob bell

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & Associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books.   

Please check out the podcast 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment.