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With 2 little one’s, there is a major replay button on the movies in que, thus for will be parents, prepare to watch Shrek, Madagascar, and Monsters Inc., over 1000 times each…

Mistake #1-Trying to stop doing something…

One movie in the rotation is The Bee Movie. A funny scene is when “Barry” keeps flying into the window, and he keeps saying “this time, this time, this time, this time, this time.” These mistakes are common and are called the insane mistakes: “thinking what we are doing will produce different results.” 

First, we make this type of mistake because change is tough! We have also had some success and because we’ve had some success, it helps justify why we aren’t willing to or need to change. We don’t recognize that our successes are in spite of not because of our behaviors.

When it comes to these types of mistakes, we must become “sick and tired of being sick and tired” before we are willing to make any change. If we are still having limited success, we won’t make any adjustments to our behavior.

Mistake #2- Trying to do something…

Three frogs are on a lily pad, and two decide to jump to shore, how many are left? Three— merely deciding to do something doesn’t make it happen, it takes action along with commitment.

These types of mistakes are often why New Years Resolutions and typical goal setting fail. These are the getting ready to get ready mistakes, we have good intentions, but our hesitation and fear make it difficult to move forward.

In the book, Good to Great, the researchers found something called the flywheel effect. Great companies understood that big claims did not need to made at the onset of change, they just changed, spun the flywheel, and after momentum was built up, they’d look up and say “hey, if we just keep pushing on this thing, there’s no reason, we can’t accomplish X.” p. 177.

Whether we are trying to do something or stop doing something, they solution begins the same: do something…anything, and keep at it….

Author: Dr. Rob Bell

There are no guarantees in life. All we have are opportunities.

Vince Frank at the Cru Golf outing at Stonewall Orchards took advantage of his opportunity.  The par-3 9th hole, held the hole-in one contest for $10,000. However, one had to pay $10 to be eligible.  He was the only one in his group to donate the money, because he said “it was for a good cause.”

Vince being the seventy year old golfer did not even see the ball roll in the hole on the 168 yard shot, but his partners sure did and they let him hear it. The odds of Vince making the hole in one were not very good, but we all can learn from this event.

We should focus on what’s possible, not what’s probable.  If we pay attention to the probability, it can severely dampen the number of opportunities we take. In many ways, we regret what we DO NOT DO, rather than doing something and it not turning out the way we want. If we at least do something, then we are giving ourselves a shot. Go ahead, pay the $10.

Imagine for a second that Vince DID NOT pay his $10. He would have had a more difficult time moving on from NOT winning, than making his hole in one.

Read How to make a hole-in-one. 

Lastly, he even gave a bit of credit to me because he said my talk at the beginning of the event made him NOT  think about the shot, even if it was the only one he did it for all day…Maybe I should send him an invoice? Nah, that’s why they brought me to speak…

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out the most recent book on Mental Toughness- Don’t Should on Your Kids: Build Their Mental Toughness   

Like most books I read, I was told about this one from a friend. It is an easy read (read it in one day) and offers some insight that is both thought-provoking and moving. The question I get is: do you believe the story is real? One of the answers I learned not so long ago is this; believe so you can understand, don’t understand so you can believe. 

The story delves into experiences of a young boy who ever so non-chalantly and matter of fact shares his three minute trip into heaven. There he spends time with family, Jesus, and God. One of my favorite lines of the book is: Jesus loves children.

First, it’s not the QB, a kicker, or even a lacrosse goalie. The toughest position is not only stressful and demands thick skin, but it is completely thankless; it’s the referee. Think about it, the best officials are invisible, because they only warrant consideration when something bad has happened. Nonetheless, the best games possess a flow, fairness, and game management only available through the toughest position on the field.

In addition, we all have to be officials at certain points on our own team or career. Interviewing the toughest of toughest positions on the field (SEC football officials) has revealed three keys for all of us to follow:

1)   Get excited, not nervous-

Prior to a game, referees get the same type of feelings and thoughts as the players. The best get excited rather than nervous and the difference rests in how they perceive the situation. They must view games as “we get to call a good game,” rather than “I hope I don’t mess up a call.” It’s the same in our own lives, when we get excited; we view things as challenges (something we get to do) rather than threats (something bad can happen).

2)   Communicate-

Since the game has changed in 20 years from big guys or fast guys, to big and fast guys, there are more “gut” or “marginal” calls on the field.

The head official is only one addressing the crowd at the game, so he must administer the call not only correctly, but also timely. When you see the referees gather together, it may even come down to the head official’s decision to make the call.

3)   Re-focus-

There are approximately 170-180 plays in a game and referees never call a perfect game. The officials focus on their preparation, rely on their mantra of “ready, every play”, and the pre-snap routine. Every official has a different role on the field, so each person goes through a specific mental checklist that helps them focus.

However, mistakes still happen. Thus, some of the referees actually have a physical re-focus cue to help them on the most important play; the next play. When something goes poorly in your own life, what is your re-focus cue?

 Dr. Rob Bell is the author of Mental Toughness Training for Golf, an AASP certified Sport Psychology consultant, and caddy on tour. He consults with athletes, coaches, and teams at all levels helping build and enhance their own mental toughness. His website is www.drrobbell.com and you can find him on Twitter @drrobbell

The tour caddy is the closest thing to being a sideline head coach, except the roles are  different. Whereas the head coach has the final call, gets criticized, and interviewed; the player makes the decisions. Caddying reveals amazing insight into the game that no one else can get, and caddies save a professional golfer, in my opinion, about one shot a round.

“Keep up, clean up & shut up”

Caddying is all about timing. Just like being a good spouse; the best have an awareness of when they CAN  speak up and when to SHUT UP.  Our spouses {players} want us to know what they are thinking and even anticipate a response before a question is asked. Since reading minds is tougher than reading greens, it comes down to the strength of the relationship.

“There is a reason why their name is on the bag”

A caddy never hits a shot, but he/she is still only as good as their player. Two of the absolute best that I know are Paul Tesori and Joe Skovron. They have played golf at the highest level, have caddied for winners on tour, and prepare better than anyone else.

A great caddy is also like a sponsor in A.A. It is built upon a mutual relationship of trust and 100% confidentiality. The best aren’t afraid of having a heart to heart if their player is not preparing the right way, abandoning game plans, not committing to shots, or getting in their own way. Most importantly, a great caddy isn’t afraid to make mistakes.

“We shot 66, he shot 74”

Caddying is easy when they are playing well and the bags are never heavy after shooting a 66, but they can get weighty with a 74. In fact, the toughest part of looping is removing oneself from the actual score and not getting caught up in what the player is doing. The player himself sometimes rides an emotional roller coaster, so keys for a caddy is staying positive, calm, in-control, and un-emotional at all times.

“Every shot counts”

The difference in prize money between the Nationwide and PGA tour is vast. Thus, at the end of every season, the difference between who keeps his card at 125th on the money list and loses it at 126th, will come down to basically a few thousand dollars, even though they will both will have made over $600,000.

I was reminded of the importance of every shot, when once my player 3-putted the last hole of a PGA tournament, which cost him a top-25 finish and $21,000. Ten percent of that amount, (my cut) is more than I have ever gambled in my life.

If you care to read about my worst experience as a caddy and how I caused a two-shot penalty, check out the book: Mental Toughness Training for Golf: Start Strong Finish Strong

Dr. Rob Bell is the author of Mental Toughness Training for Golf, and an AASP certified Sport Psychology consultant. He has PGA Tour credentials and has worked with winners on the PGA Tour. He consults with athletes, coaches, and teams at all levels helping build and enhance their own mental toughness. His website is www.drrobbell.com and you can find him on Twitter @drrobbell