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The Toxic “At Least” Mentality |

at least mentality

The Toxic At Least Mentality

I have bad days, I get down.

I lose belief and I’ll feel like I am not good enough.

I also have days where I do well, but for many reasons, I just didn’t perform up to my own standards.

I don’t like feeling like this way, so what occurs when I get like this is I develop the toxic at least mentality.

  • “OH WELL” At least, I ran today
  • “AT LEAST” I am not as slow as that person
  • “AT LEAST” I showed up
  • “OH WELL” at least, we played well

What I am really saying to myself is at least mentality that I am not a loser…

But, I am also saying, I am not a winner…

The “at least” mental state is dangerous and systemic. Once it enters our vocabulary either within ourselves or our team, it can easily seep into our core beliefs.

The “at least” attitude means we chose to make an excuse. 

Settling was okay.  Mediocre wasn’t all that bad.

Going through the motions became an option. We chose to live inside the comfort zone. I basically valued my self worth as a “maybe” rather than a “yes.”

The toughest part of winning is the will to prepare.  

Committing to everything that is needed to win, means developing a winner’s mindset as opposed to an “at least” mind-set.  We must instill the belief that we deserve what we are going to achieve because of our preparation, because at no point did we settle.

However, what lacks is the belief…We develop an at least mentality because we wanted, we just weren’t willing… We weren’t really willing to sacrifice, willing to develop the needed focus, or willing to work on our weaknesses. We looked around us and said “I’m not all THAT bad.”

Preparation and motivation involves the belief in oneself and that our goal or vision can be reached!

Setbacks, adversity, and struggle are going to happen, but it is how we overcome these obstacles.

The bottom line is that losing happens way more than winning ever does.

There is always a runner-up finish, a 2nd place team, and second best in show.

The question must be asked,  is an at least mentality an acceptable option for you?

 

dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly. 

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3 characteristics of the best athletes . . .

3 Characteristics of the Best Athletes

People often ask me, what are the features of the very best athletes?

Remember though, everyone is an athlete, our office is just different! 

Having coached, observed, studied, collaborated, spent time with and spoken to athletes for my entire life, here are the three (3) traits of the best athletes.

Note: I have chosen not to include talent, because talent is a pre-requisite. However, tenacity is more important than talent. 

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characteristics of the best athletes1)  Passion- The best possess an unquenchable thirst to see how good that they can become & they LOVE their sport. 

This passion translates into a willingness and desire for hard work. It’s the basis of all Mental Toughness. Dale Earnhardt was once in an accident and could not finish his next race at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. He started the race, but they had to remove him from the car.

Here was the greatest race car driver, basically crying, because they had to take him out of the car. He said, “ Nobody loves anything more than my driving a race car.” Passion is one of the characteristics of the best athletes. 

2)  Competitiveness- The best athletes love to compete and put themselves in situations that test their skills.

The competitiveness is more than just beating others; it is the feeling that they get from testing themselves under pressure.

I often witness athletes even outside of their own sport, remain so competitive to win regardless of the event (e.g., checkers, sit-ups, darts, pogo-stick, etc.).

They may fear losing, but they don’t succumb to that fear, they have an inner confidence that they continually compete. It’s one of major characteristics of the best athletes.

As Jimmy Connors and many others have stated, “I hate to lose, more than I love to win.”

3)  Another Gear- If you listen to quality sports announcers close enough, they mention how certain players can change speeds.

For example, Emmitt Smith holds the record for career rushing yardage in the NFL, and while few state that he is the best ball carrier of all time, he was nonetheless able to hit the gap successfully and turn downfield—He had another gear.

The characteristics of the best athletes are that they can muster up the inner fortitude and the “it” factor which allows them to finish strong. They simply have another gear…

These skills may be more innate with the best, but they can be learned and cultivated.

Honestly assess your own mental game and answer which of these characteristics do you possess and which one’s need strengthened.

 

dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly. 

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Shocking Ways That Goals NOT Deals Will Improve Your Mental Toughness

make goals not deals

Shocking Ways That Goals NOT Deals Will Improve Your Mental Toughness

Click here to receive a FREE FILM On Mental Toughness

At the 1964 Olympics in Tokyo, Billy Mills would make history with his iconic sprint to win the gold medal in the 10,000 meters. He was so unknown, that a Japanese reporter asked him after his win “who are you?”

He is still the last American to win the Gold medal in the 10,000 meters.

However, he was actually going to quit.

Before the last lap, he knew he had third place locked up, so he was going to pull up and let the battle be decided by the other two runners, Ron Clarke and Mohammed Gammoudi.

He knew it was “safe” to pull up, but as he looked into the stands, he saw his wife crying… He couldn’t give up on his goal, NO DEAL!

A runner/cyclist friend of mine was a great athlete who admitted that he could just “show up.” He was skilled enough to compete in basically anything he did.

However, he told me that his game changed once he set goals not deals with himself.

Mental Toughness is all about how we handle, cope, and deal with adversity. Our own mind gets in the way of this, especially when life gets really tough. 

During a race or competition, he used to say to himself, “Keep up with [that guy] until this point and then let him go.” He admitted he wasn’t as sharp as he needed to be mentally. Now, during a race or practice, he’ll set goals, he’ll just say, “Catch that guy.”

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How often do you make deals instead of goals? 

  • With our children, “Honey, if you pick up your toys, you can get a snack.”
  • With God, “lord, if you get me through this, I will never…”
  • With ourselves, “If you [do this] then you can [do this].”

Making deals is just like a coach who uses sprints as the only means of discipline.

Making deals is just like a coach who uses sprints as the only means of discipline.

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It works, but only for a short while, and the athletes soon grow to tolerate it, and not learn from it. Making deals is effective, but only for the short-term. It gets the job done, but it is not sustainable and it causes really bad habits.

When we make deals, we are limiting how good we can become.

Deals do not build mental toughness.

Our motivation and focus has changed. We are doing something to gain an immediate result, not long-term success. Making deals also gives us an “out”, a reason not to push further when it gets really tough. When we make goals not deals, it means there is a higher purpose and why behind our actions  and we start to win the mental game. 

Goals not deals means having a plan of action without a fallback.

It’s stating, “I will do this”, instead of  “do this, so you can.” It means keeping the focus on the immediate task at hand instead of focusing on the outcome.

Athletes don’t train for the trophy; they train for the feeling of holding the trophy. It’s not for external reasons or rewards either, it’s for the self-satisfaction.  

“Good athletes practice until they get it right, great one’s practice until they can’t get it wrong.”

 

dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly. 

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“I Was Robbed!”

How many times have we heard in sport or life, “I was robbed of that play “or “that game was stolen?” If we have said it or have been a part of it, then we know the thoughts and feelings that go along with it.

Well, literally, I was robbed!

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During an early morning swim at the YMCA, the aquatics director was soon standing over me letting me know my car was broken into.

Dammit!!

Now, my Mac Book, iPad, and video camera were all taken as part of this smash & grab job. BUT my thoughts immediately went to MY BOOK! Having worked on the book for the past year, it was quite a bit of time, effort, and money.

The Victim

I was upset, felt helpless, and even wanted to blame somebody for what happened. I went to all of these mental places the hours after this took place. But what really surprised me is the “feeling” that stuck inside my gut. I just felt “off.”

Since I help athletes, coaches, and teams perform better, I always want to be a product of my product. “The Variable is YOU.”

The easier part for me about the break-in was getting over it. I could do that!

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But, I actually wanted to use this obstacle as an opportunity…I don’t like feeling or acting like a victim. Winners don’t do that.

The only way I could have used this obstacle to improve was to be THANKFUL IT HAPPENED. Could I convince myself that this robbery actually was a blessing? Could I really turn my thoughts into  “why NOT me?”  Did having my car broken into actually save me from getting in a car accident later on? Was it a HINGE moment? 

How many of us get stuck, unable to get over what happened to us?  Yes, it sucks, but don’t stay in the “I was robbed” mentality. Instead, let it go, but more importantly use the experience to mentally get better.

When I was able to make this acceptance a part of my growth as a person, everything changed that day!! Oh yea, we have to practice it on a daily basis. It is easy to be positive when things are going well, but the true test is not where we stand in times of comfort, but during times of struggle.

Turn your obstacles into opportunities.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out the most recent book on Mental Toughness- Don’t Should on Your Kids: Build Their Mental Toughness   

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