Isn’t it interesting how things seem to get better when it’s going well, and worse when things are going bad?
What if we can break the cycle of negativity? I hate losing confidence, but it happens from time to time. However, too often I meet successful people that simply don’t have the inner self-belief in themselves. We can’t afford to lose confidence! It’s NOT about motivation, it’s about belief. Nothing can stop an inspired person whose time has come! It’s about becoming something greater!
Confidence is contagious…
Watching others have success automatically builds belief in ourselves. If strengthens the belief that “Hey, if they can do it, so can I.” CLICK ON IMAGES TO PLAY
Billy Mills ~ Every Passion Has It’s Destiny! BEST ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE OF ALL-TIME.
Susan Boyle- “I Dreamed a Dream!” Watch to the laughter turn to tears…
Capt. Sully~ “It was the worst pit of your stomach feeling” Miracle on The Hudson
Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out the most recent book on Mental Toughness- Don’t Should on Your Kids: Build Their Mental Toughness
“Perfect little Rachel ” That’s how her parents described and introduced their child, a high-school 2nd baseman. That’s pretty high expectations, and I was curious how long they had been calling her that. She was not mentally tough and it had little to do with her.
1. Call them a competitor:
How do you introduce and describe your kids?“There goes our little winner” or “Here comes Johnny, our star goalie.” Be careful about using descriptors that emphasize only part of our identity.We are not always winners, and we certainly don’t always lose. We are also only an athlete at certain times as well. BUT, we can compete in everything we do. We can compete in grades, paying attention, and playing sports. Emphasize that competing means against yourself, not anyone else.
2. Love your partner:
It’s easier for me to be a good father than a good husband.I don’t like that part of me, but I can just love on my kids as much as I want. With my wife, I have listen, reflect, emphasize, budget, discipline, strategize, and co-parent. It’s part of being in a relationship, it takes more work. However, the most important relationships take place within the four walls of our home. How we interact, show affection, and disagree with our partner, models how our kids will see the outside world. Remember, whatever they see as a child is “normal,” you get to define it.
3. Allow them to take ownership:
There is a big difference between ownership and buy-in. Buy-in means its someone else’s idea. Ownership is more powerful. If competitiors take ownership of their game, they will then assume ownership within the team. Before each season, define your role and ask them what feedback they want from you…Allow them to pack their own bags, schedule their additional practice and free-time. Basically after the initial conversation, don’t intervene unless their safety or health is concerned.
4. Don’t call, email, or text:
I had an awful bachelor party. I even told my wife how disappointing it was, (it was even in Vegas). She actually emailed the guys in my party after the fact. Ouch, I was embarrassed. She fought my own battle…Kids develop mental toughness by overcoming the adversity they face. They need to be able to communicate with coach and other players, but if we don’t allow them to use their own voice, then they won’t face their fear and fear wins. Most coach-athlete problems are a result of a lack of communication anyway.
5. Don’t talk about other players, coach, or refs:
Sports is about winning, but it is also about losing and getting better. Losing sucks, but it isn’t fatal. We help build mental toughness by allowing them to experience the setbacks and the adversity. If we try to remove their ownership by blaming anything else other than their play, then we have actually given them an out, an excuse. If there’s an out, they will use it and learn to use it. Bad calls, bad plays, and poor execution happen, but what’s the lesson when we blame, it wasn’t you, it was something else? Well, when they win, it has to be something else as well, can’t have it both ways.
My great uncle plays cards all the time, he says it in jest, “when I win, it’s a game of skill, if I lose, it’s a game of luck.”
Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out the most recent book on Mental Toughness- Don’t Should on Your Kid: Build Their Mental Toughness
Almost everything we do contains a routine… How we wake up in the morning, go to work, eat our food, and even shave. We have become so routine that we are not even aware of it, hence routine. We implement these daily routines because they make us comfortable and allow us to tune-in our focus.
However, we do recognize when we get out of our performance routines because we begin to think more and may even become anxious or nervous.
These daily routines don’t really matter too much though unless we are OCD. Although, they make ALL the difference in our performance. Performances could go wrong and routines make us comfortable during these pressure situations. Presentations, Surgery, Try-outs, Auditions, Competitions, Sales, Golfing, Free-throws, Bowling, Darts, Race-car driving to rattle off a few.
Unbelievably though, our performance routines have not become routine. We practice the skill way more than the execution of the routine. This is why under pressure, we don’t focus on the right things, become anxious, get nervous, or choke. Our performance routines have not become routine.There are a lot of variables in our performance, and since our routines are 100% under our control, the main variable is YOU! Routines need to be perfect in all areas of our performance.
Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness. Check out the most recent books on Mental Toughness.
drbellhttps://drrobbell.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/logo-2018.pngdrbell2014-03-27 08:33:562018-11-05 11:33:49Athletes Need Better Performance Routines
I’m a husband and father of two wonderful kids. I’m an Ironman, and endurance athlete, and I PLAY. Golf, swim, ski, run, ping-pong and chess. I speak & train with teams, organizations, and coaches on mental toughness.