When I first heard the Beatles song, HELP in high school I loved it, but actually thought it made little sense.
When I was younger (So much younger than) so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in any way!
But as with life, songs that were just cool, Glory Days, & The Summer of 69′, actually began to change and deepen their meaning over time.
I always enjoyed listening to a coach’s Hall of Fame acceptance speech, as they thanked their partner! It made sense, rightly so, but like the songs, I couldn’t really get it until later in life! No one gets there alone, and especially without a loving, supportive partner! A coach’s husband or wives are the one’s who make the biggest sacrifice!! My wife is the best! I needed her help.
My life used to be predicated on the erroneous belief, that if it needs to be done, “Rob, you better do it.” That’s the wrong song to play in my head. The issue was that in many ways it was effective. Running a marathon, publishing 4 books, starting a business, working with elite athletes, caddying on tour, was on my own strength, right? ha, wrong! It’s only after things go bad, do we understand how much that we need others!
Mental Toughness is not doing it all by yourself, it’s actually being able to ask for help! People want to help, but ironically no one wants to ask for help! It is best to know what type of help that we want and are we willing to take it?
Here’s five ways to ask for help!
Can you watch this?
These are a coach’s favorite words to hear! A coach is someone who helps you get somewhere that you want to go. They want to help, so be prepared to be willing to receive the feedback they offer.
I’d really like your opinion on something…
I have found that most people don’t expect you to solve their issue for them, but to just listen! However, too often we feel the need to sweep in and try and fix it. If we do this, then they may not turn to us later, or worse, expect us to always fix “it.” Either option actually build’s dependency, not capacity.
Have you ever struggled with?
Just be honest! Lay it out there and you’ll see how many people will connect with you. A true friend or coach is someone who can tell you, “Hey, I get it, it’s okay.”
How do you?
My friend Matt Tully is a good golfer, but every time we play, he starts asking me questions about swings, mechanics, strategy, tour players, etc. Then he proceeds to shoot 74 and beats me. This isn’t a game by him, (he actually is the best guy ever) so I concluded that he really wants as much information as possible just so he can get better.
I look forward to hanging out with you…
The things that people miss most are just hanging out with one another. That’s why so many relationships are built on the golf course. Peyton Manning said it during his retirement, the thing he will miss most is the time in the locker room, just hanging out with one another. So, be sure to tell whomever your going to hang out with that you look forward to talking.
Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out the most recent book on Mental Toughness- Don’t Should on Your Kids: Build Their Mental Toughness