5 Ways To Ask For Help
When I first heard the Beatles song, HELP in high school, I loved it, but actually thought it made little sense. Who needs help when they are young and know it all?
When I was younger (So much younger than today)
I never needed anybody’s help in any way!
But as with life, songs or albums that were just cool, Glory Days, & The Summer of 69′, actually began to change and deepen their meaning over time.
I always enjoyed listening to a coach’s Hall of Fame acceptance speech, as they thanked their spouse.
It made sense, rightly so, but like the songs, I couldn’t really get it until later in life! No one gets there alone, and especially without a loving, supportive partner! A coach’s husband or wives are the ones who make the biggest sacrifice!! My wife is the best! I needed her help with life.
My life used to be predicated on the erroneous belief, that if it needs to be done, “Rob, you better do it.” That’s the wrong song to play in my head. I needed ways to ask for help.
The pandemic caused us all to struggle and the stronger the connections, the better we do. But it takes effort and action… We can’t read the directions of a cake and expect it to appear.
Running a marathon, publishing 7 books, starting a business, working with elite athletes, caddying on tour, was on my own strength, right? ha, wrong! It’s only after things go horribly bad, do we understand how much we need others!
Mental Toughness is not doing it all by yourself, it’s actually being able to ask for help!
The greatest irony is that people want to help, but no one wants to ask for help!
It became a huge message in our 30-day Mental Toughness Challenge!
These action steps are simple- Here are five simple ways to ask for help!
|1. Ask- Can you watch this?|
|2. I’d really like your opinion on something…|
|3. Ask- Have you ever struggled with…?|
|4. How do you…?|
|5. Tell them- I look forward to hanging out with you…|
Can you watch this?
These are a coach’s favorite words to hear!
A coach is someone who helps you get somewhere that you want to go. They want to help, so be prepared to be willing to receive the feedback they offer.
I’d really like your opinion on something…
I have found that most people don’t expect you to solve their issue for them, but to just listen!
However, too often we feel the need to sweep in and try and fix it. If we do this, then they may not turn to us later, or worse, expect us to always fix “it.” Either option actually build’s a dependency, not capacity.
Have you ever struggled with…?
Just be honest!
Lay it out there and you’ll see how many people will connect with you. A true friend or coach is someone who can tell you, “Hey, I get it, it’s okay.”
How do you?
My friend Matt Tully is a good golfer, but every time we play, he starts asking me questions about swings, mechanics, strategy, tour players, etc. Then he proceeds to shoot 74 and beat me. This isn’t a game by him, (he actually is the best guy ever) so I concluded that he really wants as much information as possible just so he can get better.
I look forward to hanging out with you…
The things that people miss most are just hanging out with one another.
That’s why so many relationships are built on the golf course. Peyton Manning said it during his retirement, the thing he will miss most is the time in the locker room, just hanging out with one another. So, be sure to tell whomever you’re going to hang out with that you look forward to talking.
These five ways to ask for help are just another way to connect. We need connection because the opposite of connection is isolation and that is when we start to lose confidence.
Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens.
Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly.