This infographic was designed specifically for parents because I hate it when I accidentally crush my own kids’ confidence. I’m a dad and realize how parents crush confidence in their kids…
But, below is good advice if you’re a coach as well.
Unfortunately, if you are a Lex Luther type of person who just wants to kill someone’s confidence, then do some work on yourself.
5 Ways Parents Crush Confidence (Do This INSTEAD)
I clearly remember my senior year of baseball when I made an error at shortstop. It was a hard-hit ground ball that simply jumped and hit me in the chest and I didn’t make the play.
I wasn’t that upset about it because it was a bad hop. But, when I got back to the dugout and coach called everyone together, he verbally challenged me if I could even play that position.
“Um, yes sir.”
Ouch!
Now, I was never a great hitter, but I worked tons on fielding and felt I was a great short-stop.
But that feedback from the coach, in front of everyone, made me question everything and wonder if I really could play that position.
I deliver keynotes and talk about to this day.
- Call out someone in front of their peers, that’s a way parents crush confidence.
That experience and feedback stayed with me and frankly, I played like crap the entire year at shortstop.
I don’t blame coach, I just didn’t have the mental toughness tools. I didn’t know how to bounce-back and not let that outside stuff bother me. I didn’t know how to properly let go of mistakes.
It sucked and I wish I could go back and give that high-school kid some advice.
It is more common that parents crush confidence than it is to build it up.
Confidence and Focus: An Unbeatable Pair For Your Mental Toughness
Here’s the five ways parents crush confidence.
| 1. ONLY tell them what they did WRONG. |
| 2. ASK, “are you nervous?” |
| 3. Tell them, ” It’s all mental.” |
| 4. Talk openly about other players, coaches, rankings, and winning. |
| 5. Blame the coaches! |
Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes. Some clients have included three different winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 
