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forget about the outcome

Henry Rollins photo by NNDB.com


10 ways to forget about the outcome

It is what is. It’s only uttered by people who experienced a setback or are just miserable. I’ve never heard it by someone holding up a trophy. Although, my goal is to have an athlete hold up a trophy and is so consumed by the process that they say, “hey, it is what it is.”  

A focus on winning doesn’t lead to winning, a focus on the process does.

However, our thoughts are often directed on the result and the outcome. When we do this, we welcome the ugly guest of FEAR into our game. 

Here are 10 ways to forget about the outcome.


1) Talk to a teammate or competitor- Get outside of our own head, we are behind enemy lines. Andrew Luck actually congratulates guys who sack him! 

2) TELL yourself what you’re going to do next!- Don’t ask yourself questions in competition, it only brings forth doubt. Instead, TELL yourself what you are going to do. We call this the “thinking out loud technique. It helps you to forget about the outcome by focusing so much on the process! 

3) Make the picture big- When I focus on going on vacation or that dinner date next week, I get happy.  One of my players loved eating so much, he would talk about where we were going afterward. Make the picture even bigger, we must know that it all works out because it has so far.

4) Make the picture small again- Focus just on making one play, the next one! Just THIS PLAY! 

5) Breathe- Take one deep breath and look for the opportunity. 

6) Rock, Paper, Scissors- If you’ve got a sport with some downtime, play a quick game! It reduces tension. check it out here…

7) Repeat your mantra- Hopefully, you have one… what refocuses you?

8) Think about your family- I get happy when I think about mine, but it also kicks in the drive.

9) Think about your behind– Not your butt, you know, your past successes. If all we had were good memories, how would you play? 

10) Act as if- Before I take the stage or work with a team, I act as if I am Henry Rollins or Bobby Jones. If we focus on how someone better than me would act it helps us forget about the outcome. 


 


dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly. 

WKUDuring the bowl season, there was the greatest single football play ever that sealed an incredible comeback. Except the comeback victory didn’t happen.

In another college football bowl game, there was also a dramatic comeback that did result in a victory. The difference was that The Hinge connected for one and it didn’t for another and there was a reason why.

Game 1: Bahamas Bowl: Central Michigan vs. Western Kentucky

Read this insight from James Jimenez The greatest comeback that never happened

WKU was leading 49-14 in the fourth quarter. Central Michigan came back and was behind 49-42 with just one-second left. They then had the most remarkable pass play since The Play (see Cal vs. Stanford). From their own 20-yard line, and four laterals later, they scored a touchdown. The play made the score 49-48. It was a Hinge moment!

Coach Enos decided to go for a two-point conversion to win the game and an incomplete pass later the game was over. They lost.

Wait, what? The Hinge connects; it was supposed to provide Central Michigan with the win. What happened? Coach Dan Enos said he originally planned to kick the extra point. Someone yelled to go for it and he changed his mind, he called the extra point team back off of the field and went for the win.

Coach Enos didn’t trust his gut.

Game 2: Armed Forces Bowl: Pittsburgh vs. Houston

Pitt was leading 31-6 in the fourth quarter. University of Houston was still behind 34-20 and then proceeded to get not only 1, but also 2 successful onside kicks. A Hinge moment! Houston scored on a 25-yard touchdown play to trail 34-33 with just 59 seconds remaining. Coach Gibbs went for a two-point conversion and they scored to take the lead and win the game 35-34. It became the largest 4th quarter comeback in Bowl history.

Coach Gibbs said, “We made a decision the 1st day of practice that if it came down to the end of the game, we were going for two, no matter what,” Gibbs said. “There was no decision. They knew three weeks ago.” Thus, coach Gibbs had prepared for the exact moment that occurred.

Why did Houston comeback and Central Michigan did not? Coach Gibbs trusted his gut, and when we trust our gut, the hinge connects. What we need to learn from this is that each of us needs to trust our gut, our intuition.

Our gut is our in-born GPS that we all have. We must trust it, it is extremely difficult, but it is also necessary for The Hinge to connect. We have no idea when our Hinge moment will occur, but we must prepare for it.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out the most recent book on Mental Toughness- Don’t Should on Your Kid: Build Their Mental Toughness   

NO FEAR
I have a brand new project coming out. It is an 18-minute film and E-book titled: NO FEAR: A simple guide to mental toughness. You can sign-up for the pre-release here….

I was a University professor for 5 years and I would announce to every class on the first day, all that they had to do to graduate college. It was simple…Show up…every day. If they showed up every day, they would almost guarantee themselves a grade of a C, even if they did nothing else. Now, just graduating with a C average probably wasn’t the goal for most, but the point is valid.

Never miss a class… If they are present everyday, then they are taking certain steps to ensure they learn. They force themselves to act as if. They act as a person who graduates does. That’s it. And in doing so, they also ignite specific beliefs. They take ownership and responsibility and as a result of showing up every day, they develop habits.

First we form habits, and then they form us.

Once habits are formed, then beliefs are shaped and we start to conform to our beliefs. The beliefs don’t have to even be deep rooted or existential questions, like does God exist? The beliefs merely form our reason for doing what we do. It becomes our “why.”

When we develop our why, we can come up with any how.

Wait, doesn’t that go contrary to acting as if, and shouldn’t we come up with a vision statement before moving forward?

Neither mental skill is mutually exclusive. Our actions and beliefs work hand in hand. You can’t act as if without having some kindle of a why, a justification, and a belief. Just as once you really discover your why, your purpose, and no longer act as if.

So, when we show up every day, we are in place to get better. We can’t help to learn something and improve in some small way, every day.

When I get in debates about unbreakable baseball records, the one’s that will never fall are those that demonstrated and rewarded perseverance & longevity. One of these records was Cal Ripken, The Ironman. He played seventeen consecutive seasons without missing one single game. He played in 2,632 consecutive games. When Derek Jeter asked Cal Ripken the secret of playing every day, Cal replied, “ You know Derek, I Just…I just play.”

There is no secret….

Now, how many times do you think Cal Ripken was battling a slump, injured, was sick, or had an off the field issue? None of it deterred him from just showing up. What I knew is that when I went to watch the Orioles, Cal Ripken would be playing. #NEVERGIVEUP

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The Hinge-The Importance of Mental Toughness Dr. Rob BellDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book is titled The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness. Follow on twitter @drrobbell  or contact drrobbell@drrobbell.com

Check out the new film & e-book, NO FEAR: A simple guide to mental toughness 

most difficult mental skill


The 2nd most difficult mental skill is also the 2nd most important.


Can you do it on your own, or is it best with the help of coaches? It’s the biggest issue I’ve seen with competitors today.  The hierarchy of mental toughness is simple.

But, at the top of the pyramid is the ability to re-focus, let go of mistakes, and move on. This is the important psychological skill because if you show me someone whop can let go of mistakes, I’ll show you somebody who is CONFIDENT! 

 


 

 


dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly. 

Build Their Confidence

confidence does not


Confidence does NOT do this…


Have you ever driven in an unfamiliar place, following your GPS, and suddenly sensed that we were not quite in the right spot? So, we turned at the next corner or drove straight ahead disregarding the directions. 

(I sometimes believe that the GPS takes me past businesses so I’ll have to stop.) 

We all have a built-in GPS system. It’s called confidence!

It is the belief that our needs will be met, and the ability to trust in our decisions, and those closest to us. Trust is the most important mental skill, but we have to recognize what confidence does not do., 

Trust is your gut, your intuition. It’s another reason why confidence is just a feeling. 

The GPS just points us in the direction we are supposed to go. It’s our decision whether or not to trust our gut. Even though, if we don’t trust it, we will often be incorrect. 

But, what this mental skill does not do is this...


To date, I’ve never had the GPS ask me “How did you get here?”  “Why are you in this part of town?” “Are you going to be late?”


Confidence does not judge!

It does not ask questions like

  • “how did you get in this situation”?
  • “This should be over”
  • “why are you even here”?
  • “Are you really good enough”?

Doubt tries to hi-jack our own mind into mindless questioning of ourselves.

Yes, we need to reflect and assess, but these are done before and after the trip, not during the actual drive to our immediate destination.

When we think too much, we get off at the wrong exit. 

Confidence is the ability to re-focus, to let go of mistakes, and to listen to our gut, our inborn GPS. Confidence does not judge ourselves, however.

It allows us to move on! 

Confident people can do THIS skill. 


 


dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly. 

 

Confident people can do this

Confident people can do this skill…


A boat is off-course 99% of the time. A sailboat finds its destination is by tacking. Confidence is contagious and these people can do this skill as well.  A series of zigzagging maneuvers, adjusting the sail back and forth and using the wind. Adjusting is how sailboats reach their final destination.

The best view tacking as the way to sail, while the stubborn view tacking as stressful.

We have to PUKE & RALLY

Last year during a tournament round of golf, I actually 3-putted three times….Yeah, brutal. Only after doing an autopsy, I realized something. I lost confidence because I lacked this skill. I never made an adjustment coming down the stretch. Confident people can do this skill!

They can make adjustments!

In the classroom, boardroom, or field of play. Those that can make adjustments will be successful. Stubborn people on the other hand make no adjustments (insert definition of insanity here) and sometimes refuse to make adjustments.

Adjustments can be physical or mental.

It may be a change in attitude or to our routine. Most importantly, however, these adjustments are usually small. The reason why adjustments are small is because…

Fundamentals Never Change!

If our foundation and process is solid, then all we need to do is make small adjustments. It may require asking outside people for their help, but the adjustment is usually small.

Confident people can make these adjustments because they believe an alteration will make them successful. On the other hand, those that struggle are firmly planted in the belief that a change won’t work. They believe they are only one mistake away from failure. (um, see my putting example from above). 

Mental Toughness is being able to deal with the struggle, setbacks, and adversity. How we make adjustments will determine our success. Confident people can also root for others….


 


dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly. 

one way to be confident

One Way to Be Confident


Let’s face it, Everyone faces adversity, encounters struggle, and goes through dry spells.

Mental toughness is how we handle, deal, and cope with these setbacks. and adversity. 

It’s simple, but it’s just not easy.

Confidence is the most important part of mental toughness and a true indicator of how we handle the struggle…

Confidence is simply the belief that it will all work out.

Trust in our own team also means we believe that they will get the job done as well. A result of confidence is that the best remain relaxed and don’t freak out when the outcome is not going their way. The way to be confident is to not let anything bother you! 

So, here is one way to be confident.

Nothing Bothers You!

The best simply let nothing bother them. They believe in their process so much, that they refuse to let setbacks affect their mindset or their team.

It’s amazing to see, but the best manage to keep their poise and focus. Nothing bothers them! They keep their head when others are losing theirs. It is the major impact of trust and the true test of one’s level of belief and mental toughness.

Now, we all get stressed, but what is our level of confidence during these times?

The Little Things

It is common for the major changes or setbacks to bother us…

However, ever notice when we get stressed that everything seems to bother us, like the person next to us in traffic or our family? When we are confident, these things don’t bother us at all, however they become the first thing to annoy us when we lose our belief that things will work out.

“Nothing Bothers You” is one way to be confident!

We can actually make this mantra a goal to be achieved rather than just an outcome of confidence. The only way we can achieve our goal of “nothing bothers me”, is if we are confident!

What we are really agreeing to is the belief that “I don’t need everything to go my way in order to be successful. I believe it will work out and I am going to act as if.”

Check out this Golf Channel clip from PGA Tour player Ryan Blaum on his mantra of “nothing bothers him.” It’s the one way to be confident. 


Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out the most recent books on Mental Toughness- 

confidence is just a feeling


Why Confidence is Just A Feeling


Folks on twitter have messaged me with their own arguments about confidence. Even some mental coaches totally disagree with this statement.

I have had a few head coaches as well, one’s that I really respect, disagree with this statement.

But, I’ll defend it…I’m stubborn. I’m am coachable however, so hopefully that counterbalances the stubbornness. 

Confidence is often cited as the most important part of mental toughness, because it’s the most difficult and it  affects all other skills.

Confidence is  just a feeling.

It’s the second tier on the Hierarchy of Mental Toughness because we do and attempt things that we’ll be successful at and believe that we can do. Belief & trust are also the same concept as confidence and can be used interchangeably. 

So, why is it just a feeling? 


Research has shown that there are four sources of confidence. Physiological states are one source.

How we feel!

  • When athletes or musicians perform at their best, I ask them; what were you thinking about? Their answer………” nothing.”  They were in the moment, in flow.

  • Have you ever finished a workout or a run, looked at yourself in the mirror and thought, “Hey, I look good.” Honestly, you look absolutely no different from when you began, except you now feel different. (i.e., Confidence is just a feeling!)
  • Elite performers all stress that when they are playing their best, the event actually slows down. They feel in complete control.
  • The first thing that goes when an athlete starts performing poorly is the lack of FEEL. Their play or technique may look fine, but if they don’t feel confident, they will search to get that feeling back. 
  • Our prayers are not automatically answered, but we feel better after doing so, or even meditating. We feel at peace. 

Body language doesn’t talk, it screams.

Mental coaches, myself included, teach ways to become confident by changing our physiology, our body language, and how we feel.

If trust wasn’t a feeling, then why stress focused breathing, becoming centered, or good body language?

Another example why confidence is just a feeling is because what happens when we lose it?

When we lose confidence, that our feeling now turns into thoughts.

We just begin to think too much. We no longer trust our instincts, our gut. Instead, we get stuck inside of our own head and try to think our way into right acting.

The real key is still finding a way to win when we are NOT confident! 


 


dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly. 

mental toughness Growing up, Mary Towe was the oldest of 8 children, and had to take care of her brother and sisters.  For instance, she couldn’t go on any dates as a 16 year old until her newborn brother was asleep. She had mental toughness.

The entire family delivered newspapers when they were old enough (10 & 11) and each child had to go door to door to collect the money!!! If a household didn’t pay, the money came out of their own check.

When Mary was 16, she wanted to a pair of contacts. In 1966, contact lenses were $150 for one pair.

To raise the money, she babysat three children after school for $14 a week for 6 months, which she had to take a bus back and forth. She then took a job at a bookstore working from 4-9, five days a week and all day on Saturdays.

It took her 2 years to raise the money because she also had to buy her own clothes, own food, and bus fare, while also saving for Washington School for Secretaries. There was no safety net if she fell.

That’s mental toughness!!!

When my mom and dad separated when I was 9, Mary proceeded to obtain her Associates, Nursing degree, Bachelor’s, followed by an MBA. (I know because I was a child sitting in some of those classes). She eventually became Vice-President of the hospital and was very successful.

She not only ran a 40-million dollar budget, but was an incredible baker, could train dogs, horseback ride, cross stitch, type 80 words a minute, and run half-marathons.

————————

Nowadays, the safety net is really close…

I often see parents waiting in their minivans with their children when it’s cold outside for the bus to arrive.

Currently, if a high school kid forgets his/her swimsuit, they call up mom or dad to bring it to them.

The present state of athletics is if a child is not getting enough playing time, parents just switch club teams or even high schools.

And we wonder why there is a sense of entitlement?

Rob Bell revised slide3Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book is titled The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness. Follow on twitter @drrobbell  or contact drrobbell@drrobbell.com

Check out the new film & e-book, NO FEAR: A simple guide to mental toughness .

How to Tap into your focus like pete sampras


How to Tap Into Your Focus Like Pete Sampras


Pete Sampras was obviously one of the greatest. Personally, I started liking him after Winning the US Open at age 19. He won 14 total grand slams and SEVEN Wimbledon titles.

Sampras mentality was one of stoicism, rarely showing emotion, especially negative emotion

Thus, on January, 24, 1995, during the Quarterfinals of the Australian Open, two tennis heavyweights, Pete Sampras and Jim Courier faced off.

Courier won the first two sets and Sampras battled back to win the next two sets. During the fifth set, Sampras became very emotional, crying during a serve. Only later, we learned that Tim Gullikson, Pete Sampras’ coach and friend, had a brain tumor. 

Jim Courier saw what was going on and offered an olive branch that turned into a weapon. He asked Pete during his serve, “You okay, Pete, we can do this tomorrow, you know?” 

Pete Sampras took the remark as sarcasm by Courier and used it to his advantage. He said, “It kind of woke me up to be like, ‘OK, let’s focus’.” 

Pete Sampras ended up winning the match. Want To Know How To Tap Into Your Focus Like Pete Sampras? 

————————–

Mental toughness is caught more than it is taught!

What is required for our own focus is to be able to use any outside agency for our own good and to use it. 

The best focus is only on the task at hand. This shot, this point, this day…

The more we can center only on one shot at a time, the better we will accomplish it.

But, it is also about being able to find the edge to our competitiveness that allows us to go even higher and further than we thought. The best have another gear! The best in any endeavor HAVE that skill! It’s how to tap into your focus! 

How to tap into your focus Can you achieve a relentless type of focus?

Sometimes we will be called into this type of focus with a hinge moment, so embrace it.    


 


dr rob bell speakerDr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. 

Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly.