Fear takes us further than we want to go and keeps us longer than we want to stay. Fear underlies almost all emotions, disappointment, sadness, motivation, anger, even fear of getting angry. Because fear dominates our lives, this list is 5 ways to dominate that FEAR. It was the impetus to produce my latest film & eBook NO FEAR: A Simple Guide to Mental Toughness.
1) KNOW THE SOURCE- If we can’t identify where the fear is coming from or what it is about, how can we possibly begin to challenge it? One way or another, fear stems from the belief that “it” won’t work out how I want it to. Romans 8:1 states, there is no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus. If you believe in that verse, then any thoughts of fear, self-ridicule, or not being good enough is certainly not from God, the source is coming from someplace else. Hint: it’s not ourselves
2) IT FOCUSES ON THE FUTURE OR THE PAST- Think of fear as a person, not an emotion. He will try to show us why we should be afraid! That individual will direct our attention to the outcome, the result, and something out of our control. Fear wants us to become obsessed with some event or person in the future, a year, a month, even a day. It also wants us to look backwards not at our successes, but our short-comings and our failures. Fear losses it’s grip when we stay in the now.
3) THERE IS ALWAYS SOME TRUTH TO IT- Fear is not all or nothing. Yes, your son or daughter may get injured, not play DI in college, or get in an accident. We may fail. If we take a game winning shot and miss, it will hurt. If we attempt a change in our business, we may get stuck! All truths. But fear does not stop there. It keeps going and going; fear catastrophizes. It takes us down a road of imagining the worst-case scenario. Imagining that if we try and fail, well not ONLY will it suck, but also my friends will think I am a failure and I will lose my job. The solution is to rank the fear from 1-10, if it’s higher than a 6, go to the next step.
4) SHARE THE FEAR- We keep our biggest fears to ourselves and when we do that, the fear can get legs. Most people share with their friends, hairdressers, or bartenders so why not share fears with them? They aren’t experts and won’t be able to provide quality solutions, but a problem shared becomes half a problem. Once we verbalize aloud and can hear our own voice, the fear actually diminishes instantly. Try it!
5) PRAY, AND IF THAT DOESN’T WORK, PRAY AGAIN – Mental toughness is not about doing it alone, it is about surrendering to the things out of our control. Having worked with many successful high achievers, I am convinced the biggest fear is simply not being good enough. The expectations and pressure to succeed often become overwhelming and even if it is good enough, it doesn’t last for very long. The fear returns, knocking on our door, saying, “remember me?” When we let go of the fear, it let’s go of us…
For more in-depth strategies on dominating that fear, check out my latest film & eBook. NO FEAR: A Simple Guide to Mental Toughness. I’d love to hear your suggestions
Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness. His 2nd book is titled The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness. Follow on twitter @drrobbell or contact email@example.com
Check out the new film & e-book, NO FEAR: A simple guide to mental toughness .