The Three Types Of An Active Listener
If I’m uncomfortable or interviewing someone, I’ll employ this motto- Listen and learn rather than talk and tell.
One of my podcast guests, Dave Meltzer eloquently calls it to be more interestED than interestING.
Curiosity is a super power.
He predicts curiosity and creativity will be the great separator amongst people because of the information that we already have at our fingertips. Creativity and curiosity…
Dave Meltzer was worth 100 million dollars and was living it up. He had access to everything and was living in excess.
But, he had a hinge moment.
He lost it all.
And like many of us, his worst moment ended up becoming his best! He chalked it up to a major dummy tax where he was with the wrong people, making the wrong decisions, and being in the wrong situations.
People, places, and things…
His interview on my podcast- 15 minutes of mental toughness was full of knowledge, wisdom, and epic sound bites. But, one of the best parts was his take on the three types of an active listener in society.
1. The Interrupter
This is the person who can’t help themselves. They are actively listening to when to interrupt!
They just interrupt you from the story to either one up you, or interrupt the anecdote and interject what they did or what you should do. I listen to some podcast hosts who love to hear themselves speak so much that they continually interrupt to interject. It’s annoying…
These also seem to be the classic, “you know what you need to do” people. They are the one’s who always know what’s best for you…
When we are the interrupter, it’s impossible to be an active listener. As a remedy, we simply need to allow the speaker space to navigate and finish.
2. The Waiter-
Waiters in restaurants take your order, and frankly I love the one’s who memorize their tables. They also never sell their guests food either when delivering. They know where it’s going and don’t yell out “Okay, who had the clams casino?”
However, the waiter in real life are much more dangerous and strategic than the interrupter. They are also more polite.
But, these are the one’s who are simply waiting to speak and “tell you what’s best for you.”
3. The Learner-
These are the individuals who practice listen and learn rather talk and tell.
These people are seeking the light, love and lessons out of everything and everyone. What keeps us from this state of being is our ego. When I struggle with listening, I’m wanting so bad to get it and share my experience.
My ego wants to shine.
Being able to put it aside and focus on being an active listener is the challenge.
Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates coach executives and professional athletes and is based in Indianapolis. Some clients have included three winners on the PGA Tour, Indy Eleven, University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens.
Please Check out all the books and the mental toughness podcast - 15 Minutes of Mental Toughness as we interview expert athletes and coaches about Mental Strength and their Hinge Moment. New blog posts are published weekly.